My healing journey began in 2009 when I started feeling unwell while I trained one of my clients in the gym. Dizzy, terrified, and confused, I had no idea I was experiencing a panic attack or that I had been living with anxiety for most of my life. I could not believe how blind I had been to myself. That was the moment I knew something had to change.

Over the past 16 years, my life has transformed through profound inner work. I committed to understanding myself and my choices. Yet, despite years of effort, it was only recently that my life began to shift, and I feel more hopeful.

My transformation required two key shifts. I had to let go of the past and my stories about what should have been. Once I freed up all that energy, I created space to direct my focus to what I wanted.

The hardest part for me was letting go. It meant releasing old stories, expectations, and the need for validation. It meant accepting that life unfolded as it did, whether I liked it or not. Many say everything happens for a reason, but I do not necessarily share that belief. I think hardships are simply part of life. Just as we embrace joy, we also have to endure pain.

I often heard that forgiveness was necessary for moving forward, but for a long time, despite all my efforts, I could not find it in my heart. What finally helped me was something I once heard on SuperSoul Sunday with Oprah. A guest, whose name I wish I remembered, said that the only way to forgive is to accept that there is no alternative to the past. Staying fixated on what should have happened keeps us stuck in pain. But the past does not have what-ifs. It just is.

Letting go meant accepting that important people in my life would never understand or acknowledge me or my experience. It meant realizing that those who could not hear or see me never would. In letting them off the hook, I could finally let myself off the hook, too.

Once I stopped dwelling on the past, I could focus my energy on creating the future I desired. I made daily, moment-by-moment choices that aligned with the life I envisioned. I started showing up more truthfully, more in alignment with who I am, without the need to be validated, seen, or heard. Instead of expecting it from others, I gave myself the validation I longed for.

In my years around the healing community, I have seen how easy it is to stay stuck in our past stories, believing that analyzing our pain will heal us. While becoming self-aware and understanding our path is crucial, it is not enough. True transformation occurs when that awareness is used to make conscious choices that guide us toward our desires. I learned this important lesson during my Positive Psychology Coaching training. If we keep looking back, we keep recreating the past. But when we shift our focus to what we want, we start investing energy into building that reality.

Self-awareness is our greatest asset when we use it intentionally. Through positive psychology, I learned how to leverage my self-awareness as a tool for growth. Instead of trying to fix what I lacked, I built on my strengths, values, and resources. That is when my life truly began moving in the direction I wanted.

Do you ever feel stuck in the past, no matter how much you work on yourself? Start by simply observing your thoughts without judgment. Notice where your focus goes throughout the day. Are you thinking about what you want? Or are you caught up in resentment, worry, or the past stories? Just shifting your focus could create a profound change in your life.

If you need help and want to explore how positive psychology coaching could help you break free from the past and step into the life you truly want, schedule a call with me to learn more.